Like this:

Here it is in a nutshell:

• Be clear why you want a coach
• Take Responsibility – for everything that happens!
• Have a goal for the whole process
• Have a goal for each session
• Be prepared to focus your thoughts on yourself
• If it isn’t helping say so
• Communicate, communicate & communicate

1.  Be Clear Why You Want a Coach

Bearing in mind all the career routes your coach could have taken to get into into coaching (via ‘therapist’, consultant, trainer, teacher, guru and psychologist) and the possible style bias, to make sure you choose the right coach it’s important you know why you want to work with one.

Got a Goal?

Of course if you have a goal – something you’d like to achieve or succeed at – then get yourself a coach who will start there and keep you focused on that end point. You may well address issues and problems along the way but that will be done in the context of this goal-focus.

Got a problem?

However, if for example, your end point is to resolve a personal issue then you may be better off turning to a therapist or counsellor. Indeed if your problem is as serious as say, depression then a coach should in fact refer you to therapy. After the issue is resolved you can then hire a coach to set some goals you can work towards.

Want advice?

Perhaps your issue or problem is a business one that you want advice on, in which case you would be wise to choose a consultant or even a guru with expertise in this business area.

You may well choose a coach to help you clarify your business goals and then develop your performance to achieve them but, unlike a consultancy conversation which will be about the business, your coaching conversations will be about you, albeit in the context of the business but still focused on you and your performance.

Whilst thinking about gurus or expert advisors, an interesting (almost perverse) reason I have encountered for requesting coaching is to be in control. On a few occasions I have been invited to have a coaching conversation only to realise the client doesn’t want to take responsibility for the agenda and wants to solicit advice – only to be able to argue and reject that advice! If you suspect your motive is something similar, perhaps to ‘have some ideas to push against’, then my recommendation is still to hire a guru or expert advisor as they are more likely to regard their job as done once the advice is given regardless of whether you take it or not.

Don’t know what you want?

I have worked with many clients who don’t have a personal problem they want to address nor a business issue they want advice on, and they certainly haven’t wanted me to teach them anything. They simply didn’t know what they wanted!

Sound familiar? Most of us at times experience the vague feeling that things aren’t right but we haven’t yet clarified what would be. This could be because there is a notion that a basic survival motivation is one to ‘move away from’ danger and this is more fundamental to survival than the motivation to ‘move towards’ desired goals. When the building is on fire the important thing is to run away; you can think about where to later!

You can work on this with a coach because although coaching is goal-focused, in this case your goal is “to know what your goal is” and sometimes a useful start point is to clarify exactly what you don’t want or what isn’t right in your life then work from here towards what you do want or how things would have to be for you to feel happier about them.

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